It’s been a while since I’ve written the blog. Then, again, it’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything other than a few notes, brief emails, and scribbles in a journal. Please bear in mind that I still struggle with double vision. Therefore, I offer my apologies if I inadvertently repeat myself in this blog entry… I offer my apologies if I repeat myself in this blog entry. (Just kidding! But not about seeing double. This continues to be an all too daily reality for me.)

Allison and I want to thank you for all your prayers, support, encouragement, and acts of kindness since I landed in the hospital with the Miller Fisher (MFS) variant of Guillain Barré Syndrome (GBS). Apparently, I hit the lottery on rare syndromes. Only 1 to 2 people out of 1,000,000 per year get the MFS varient. Given my experience, this is not the kind of lottery one would want to win. In fact, I would give the syndrome a one-star review. Obviously, the plans we made for spring and summer certainly took a detour. In fact, I have a dry erase board in my home office that’s normally filled with assignments, projects, deadlines, and ideas. Since May 2, the morning after I was discharged from Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, the dry erase board has contained the following “to do” items:

• Get well!
• Get back to work!

I am getting well and the fact that you are reading this is evidence that I am getting back to work, albeit at a slow pace. In fact, this Monday I plan on coming into the office part-time. I still have some healing to do, and I also have physical therapy appointments to attend through the end of July. The great news is that most of my body has healed, except for the cranial nerves that control muscles related to the eyes and allow the eyes to coordinate with one another. Yet, there is evidence that those nerves are regenerating and healing, too. Praise the Lord!

It goes without saying, seeing double does come with restrictions, per the medical experts. I am not allowed to drive, ride a bicycle, use power tools or lawn equipment, get on ladders, get too hot, etc. These doctors truly have no sense of adventure! I mean, what could go wrong?

In all seriousness, Allison and I have witnessed the hand of God at work and experienced Christ’s healing presence in a multitude of ways too numerous to count. The Lord’s healing power has come through many different avenues, such as the medical community and their knowledge on how to treat MFS, and of course, the community of Christ Church manifesting Christ’s healing in ways large and small during this extremely challenging season. Our gratitude cannot be adequately expressed by  mere words in this blog.

I think of one instance, in particular, that occurred during my hospitalization that gave witness to the Lord’s healing power in response to the prayers of His people. One morning, I realized that my hands had gone numb. This was a new symptom proving that the syndrome was now affecting more nerves in my body. The thought by the medical community was that this numbness would move up my arms and that I would also experience it in other parts my body, such as the feet and legs. The concern was that eventually, the nerves that communicate from the brain to the lungs, heart, and digestive system could be impacted. The people of Christ Church, as well as many others, prayed and the numbness never went beyond my hands. Praise the Lord! While at Barnes Jewish, I was also having episodes during the night where my heart rate kept dropping to 28 beats per minute, concerning the hospital staff. The doctors were discussing the possibility of putting me on medication or putting in a temporary pacemaker. Again, the people of God prayed, and my heart rate began to slowly improve. Again, Praise the Lord! Not long after I returned home from the hospital, I came across these words from Psalm 60:4, “But you have raised a banner for those who fear you—a rallying point in the face of attack” (NLT). These are the words I scribbled in my journal upon reading Psalm 60:4:

This verse struck me this morning as I continue recovering from MFS/GBS. My own antibodies attacked the nerves in my brain. Lord, you raised a banner and multitudes rallied around you in prayer. … The battle lines were drawn, so it seemed, and people rallied around you in prayer. … Lord, you are still the rallying point in prayer, and I am healing. … You have raised your banner, and “your banner over me is love” (Song of Songs 2:4).

Now, I admit that many times I’ve “rallied around the throne of God,” in prayer on the behalf of others for healing without the same results. I don’t have the wisdom of God to say why some prayers are answered and others are not. However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give praise to God and bear witness to Christ’s healing in our lives when it does happen. I am reminded of the leper (a Samaritan) who turned back toward Jesus falling at His feet after being healed. Jesus asked the Samaritan, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” (Luke 17:117-19, NLT). Giving glory to God is an appropriate response whenever God’s healing is experienced.

Likewise, we don’t have to be fully healed to give glory to God. As I noted earlier, I am not totally healed. However, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t praise the Lord for how He has already restored me. I am praying, hoping, and believing that my eyes will be fully healed. Until that time, I am trusting the Lord for sufficient grace. I trust that He will give me the grace I need for today. Praying, “Give us this day our daily bread,” has taken on greater significance for me during my illness and recovery. I believe it was the scholar D.A. Carson who said something like this; “Sometimes God works in changing our circumstances for the better. But sometimes, God gives us grace to deal with the circumstances.” Even if I have some lifelong effects from MFS/GBS, I trust God’s grace will be sufficient. The Apostle Paul bears witness of the sufficiency of the Lord’s grace in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. Paul reveals that three times he pleaded with the Lord to take away his “thorn in the flesh.” But the Lord responded to Paul’s pleading by saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (NIV). While not healed from his ailment, Paul exclaims that through his weakness Christ’s power will rest upon him. I believe that as well. Whether fully healed or not, the Lord’s banner over me (and you) is always love. Thanks be to God!