As I was listening to Pastor Carness read from Romans 5 on Sunday, my heart and mind were captured by verse 11. I’ve read this verse a myriad of times, though not often from the translation read on Sunday. The translation read like this: “So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God” (Romans 5:11, New Living Translation, emphasis mine). The New International Version, which I read most often, reads this way: “…we also boast in God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” Both translations make the same emphasis. We have a new relationship status with God through Jesus Christ. We are not God’s enemies (Romans 5:10). We are God’s friends.

In John 15, Jesus is speaking important and tender words to his disciples. Soon he will be arrested and handed over for crucifixion. In the course of his teaching, he speaks of friendship, saying, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:14-15, NIV, emphasis mine). Later that same night, Jesus prays to the Father for His disciples “that they may be one as we are one” (17:11). Are you seeing what I’m getting at here? Through Jesus we’ve been made friends with God, and in Jesus we’ve been made friends with one another.

In several different contexts recently, the Holy Spirit impressed upon me the importance of friendships in Christ. He’s urging me to continually give thanks for and be attentive to those friendships. I’m grateful that throughout my walk with Christ over many decades, He has blessed me with wonderful friends in Christ. They have journeyed with me through trials and tragedies, as well as celebrated the joyous moments in life. They have demonstrated the extreme patience of God as the Holy Spirit has been doing the long, slow work of transforming my life. We all need those friends in our lives.

Last week, while reading one book, I was reminded of another book which I had read a couple of decades ago while working on my doctoral degree. (Please note, I received a lot of education not because I am a bright person. Quite the opposite! I am a slow learner, not great at retaining things, and need all the help I can get!) Anyway, the book is called Spiritual Friendship by Aelred of Rievaulx. I found it to be a much better read than I expected, considering Aelred was a twelfth-century monk. Here is an important excerpt for us from Aelred’s writing:

… how joyful you are if you have a friend with whom you may talk as freely as with yourself, to whom you neither fear to confess any fault nor blush at revealing any spiritual progress, to whom you may entrust all the secrets of your heart and confide all your plans. And what is more delightful than so to unite spirit to spirit and so to make one out of two that there is neither fear of boasting nor dread of suspicion? A friend’s correction does not cause pain, and a friend’s praise is not considered flattery.[1]

I think Aelred was on to something here. Jesus does not intend for us to follow him alone. Nor did he want us to live our lives with one another on a superficial level. Commenting on Aelred’s book, author and pastor Pete Scazzero says, “friendship, especially between believers, is a direct path to God, not a diversion from it.”[2]

So, what’s the takeaway from all this friendship in Christ talk? First, we desperately need deep friendships in Christ as we walk the journey of life in Christ. Second, if we don’t have these kinds of friendships, we need to pray for them. We need to ask the Lord to open our eyes to those whom he is placing around us as friends who are fellow travelers on the road of following Christ. In my own experience, it has been those friends that the Lord has put around me that have led to an invitation to deeper friendships in Christ. Third, we must recognize that there are multitudes of people around us each day who need to know that there is a God inviting them into friendship with him through Jesus. Our friendships, the way in which we watch over one another in love, speak volumes to a world where deep connection is rare but tremendously needed. As Jesus famously said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:35, NLT). Our friendship with Christ, and with one another in Christ, is a primary way in which we bear witness to the love of God in our world.

[1] Aelred of Rievaulx. Spiritual Friendship. (Cistercian Fathers Series Book 5) (pp. 82-83) (Function). Kindle Edition.  

[2] Pete Scazzero. Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day. (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2017), 228.