The sermon last Sunday on Mary Magdalene had me thinking about loss, unknowns, fears, and despair - really uplifting, huh?! During worship we considered how Jesus healed Mary’s heart, gave her hope, and honored her by raising her status as a woman and a disciple. But, recall that we also mentioned that after Jesus’ ascension, Mary went on to live a life much like ours - she too experienced losses and sorrows.  

While I love the good news that Mary and the disciples were given, I was also left wondering, well, that’s great, but how am I supposed to approach future difficulties and pains? (I’m still on my C.S. Lewis kick so, I’m going to let him speak into this question for a minute). 

When I think about whatever my problems or troubles are, my attention naturally goes to the things causing me fear, worry, and anxiety. My focus is on how a particular situation might go, or not go, how to address that issue or situation, or better yet, make it go away!  

When facing difficulty, Lewis challenges us to shift our focus from the source of the difficulty to God Himself. In The Four Loves, he says, “We shall draw near to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it” (p. 156). 

When I’m worried or afraid, I’ll admit that most of my prayers sound like “Jesus, give me better armor!” or "Get rid of this issue!” I don’t feel safe, which is precisely why I’m asking God to step in. Yet, Lewis challenges us to place ourselves in an even more precarious situation by looking to God and accepting whatever He might do or allow to happen.  

For Lewis, it’s as if following Him naturally includes a degree of unknown, danger, risk, questioning, etc. But for me, I’m rather convinced (incorrectly and un-biblically) that following Jesus should mean fewer unknowns, more comfort, and only sunny days from here on out. Then, when difficulties arise, I’m offended and I think about how God has failed me or I focus on the source of my pain.  

In Chapter 6 of The Screwtape Letters, Lewis states that our reluctance to accept difficulties as we take up our cross and follow Jesus works against us. He advises a Christian to consider that experiencing fear, loss, or difficulty is a part of carrying their cross. Certainly, God doesn’t want us weighed down with those things - but part of following Him means that we will experience them.  

As I’ve faced unknowns and challenges in the last few weeks, my discomfort has led me to say to Jesus, “I don’t like this, but I accept that following You means things will be difficult sometimes.” So simple, and also a little odd, but voicing that surrender helps. I’m acknowledging how I really feel (miserable) and saying to Him - "I’m still here, I’m not going anywhere.”  

That feels surprisingly good. Of course, I want Him to step in and fix my situation.  He knows that. What both He and I need to hear is me saying, “but even if You don’t, I’m going to love You no matter what” (kind of reminds me of Daniel’s friends before the fiery furnace). In doing that, curiously, I’ve found a sense of hope. Maybe whatever this is won’t work out. But that doesn’t change God. Nor does it need to change my posture toward Him.  

Who knows what’s going to happen with the troubling stuff? I don’t, and ultimately it doesn’t matter because the things that do matter (who God is and how I’m relating with Him) are set. They’re firm. Or, I guess I should say they’re firm for those fleeting moments I’m able to surrender and place my faith in Him. Oh Lord, help those moments last longer! 

Maybe this week as you face troubles, take a moment and try to throw away all your defensive armor (as Lewis encourages) and tell God you’re going to love Him no matter what. You might be surprised with a touch of hope!