We all go through seasons in life. 

Some seasons are full of clarity and joy. Others leave us struggling, asking questions, and trying to make sense of circumstances that have rocked us to our core. When we find ourselves in those places, we have a choice. We can run from God, or we can wrestle with Him. 

You see, I know a little bit about wrestling. I have watched my 11-year-old son, Alden, practice Mixed Martial Arts since he was five. While MMA and wrestling are not the same, there are a lot of similarities. You must choose to engage in the fight. It requires intentionality, a steady stance, stepping toward the other, stepping back, changing levels, and refusing to disengage. 

Our wrestle with God can look a lot like that. 

There are days when we feel steady in our stance. We know that God is who He says He is. We know His promises, and we stand firmly on them. 

Other days, we find ourselves stepping back and forth with hard questions. 

Why did this happen? 
Where are You in this? 
Why would You allow this? 

Some days we move toward Him. Some days we take a step back. And there are even days when our spirit feels so weak that all we can do is hang on for dear life. 

Over the last several months, I have spent a lot of time in Genesis 32, where Jacob wrestles with God through the night. 

Jacob spent much of his life trying to make things happen in his own strength. He pursued God’s promises through his own methods and his own might. Eventually, he found himself alone, facing the consequences of his past and not sure about what was ahead. 

It was there, in the darkness, that Jacob wrestled with God. This encounter left Jacob’s hip injured, yet he refused to let go. He was holding on in his weakness, not in his strength. 

“I will not let go unless you bless me,” Jacob said. And God blessed him. But I don’t think the blessing meant that every question Jacob had was suddenly answered. It didn’t mean that every hardship suddenly made sense or that every problem disappeared. 

The blessing was God Himself. 

During that struggle, Jacob encountered the living God. He had been brought to a place where he could no longer depend on his own strength, and it was in that place that he saw the Lord. He walked away wounded, but he also walked away changed. 

God then gave him a new name: Israel. And what encourages me most is that God also chose this name for His people. God’s chosen people aren’t named after a man who had everything figured out, who never stumbled, or who never questioned. God’s chosen people are named after a man who wrestled with God. A man who, even in his weakness, fought to hold on to Him. 

So, let’s choose to keep wrestling no matter how wounded our spirit feels.  Refuse to let go. Because in the end, we are not after perfect answers or outcomes that make sense. We are holding on because the blessing of our Father’s presence is all that we truly need.